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How would you feel?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 13:56

How would you feel if the person who you love most, dont trust you..
How would you feel if the person who you love most, is dont being ther for you everytime?
How would you feel if the person who you love most, seem like he/she doesnt care animore?
How would you feel if the person who you love most, is just not him anymore?
How would you feel if the person who you love most, is not the same as others?
How would you feel if the person you love most, don't understand what you want?
How would you feel if the person you love most, wants you to live the way he wan but not the way you wan?
How??

Sometimes it feels like i rather be alone in my life for now.. Sometimes i feel like he's not there. I cant help but to compare him with my exbf. I know you are not suppose to do that.. But i cant help it.. He treat me liked princess.. Like i was the one he tresure most in life.. But him, i dont feel the same way.. Im sorry.. Everynight i read your past msgs, it really made me cry.. The times you're the apply of my eye.. But now, u're just the lemon of my eye & heart.. He can be nice & sweet sometimes.. But most of the time, he really gives me a hard time.. I wonder how much longer i can this..

My sister ever say.. "Fiq cant give you what you want.. What makes you think he can??" To think of it, its kidda of true.. Fiq is the true gentleman cant give what i want.. What make i thinks that he can?? Haizz.. I miss the old him.. The person who makes me crazy in love with.. It really heart ache to see he is not him animore.. Everytime i put a fake smile, but how long can i do this..?
I dont know how much longer I can live the way he want me to do.. I scared one day i'll just give up & leave..
I dont know how longer i can be strong for him..
Why must I love him so much??
Why things have to be this way?
So many things to say.. But ther's no point of tell, he wouldn't listen aniway..
All i can do is breakdown I cry everytime..
Telling myself that everything is gonna be fine.. I just hope my heart is strong enuf to go thru this over & over again.. Dont expect perfection.. I just want him you love me the way he did months ago.. The way he love me now & last time.. I can feel its different.. :(
Everynight before i go to bed, i make the habit of readin at least 5 old mgs from him.. To make me feel the love i have for him again & why im with him again now...
I hope this relationship will last forever liked i wanted...


signing off.. *in tears*

I'll play for you.