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**Like a Broken Arrow...**
I'll play for you.
Its harder than i thought.. As I took the last look at him & walked away.. Holding his ring tightly, while holding my tears.. I walked off, i cried running to my friend.. The words that 'He attached' is still freshly in my head.. I still remember when you are the one who said, 'I don't have any replacement when you leave but you already have..' Now who's the one who is attached..? After everything i go thru for you.. I don't even deserve a word from you?? Why is your ego & pride is so big?? WHY?? You really hurt me this time.. 3 years ago, I left bcoz of your ego & pride.. Then i accept you again 1 year later.. You left without saying goodbye.. Now, i left bcoz of the same reason.. You really hit me down all over again.. I guess you love doing that uh?? Thanks baby.. You won.. I deleted in total of 630 of your msg, i swear its very painful.. When I read the times you were in camp.. All your words, your sweetness, your love towards me.. Gosh.. But when you are not.. You change.. You are no longer the person I love.. But I just stay strong coz I don't want to leave anymore.. But your attitude, ego & pride.. Its really killing me.. I thank you for everything you done over & over again.. Goodbye.....
I'll play for you.
Sometimes I wonder.. Should I be sad or angry or even jealous.. But if i said i was jealous, it will be way too weird la... Today was a Fun Fun day with bestie ika.. Really had fun with her crazy cuzzy andy.. Its was also a tired day coz im like rushin here & there to get my love present.. But someone was thinking another way just bcoz i replied his msg late.. He have been acting weird lately.. Like as if he dont trust me.. haizz.. I was rushing like crazy, to make sure everything goes smoothly later now.. But somebody is just being pain in the ass.. Wanting to find fault wiith me.. While hanging out with them & my batt left with 1bar.. so i decided to off it.. when i switch it on, love sent me this msg.. haizz.. Dad called him up asking wher am i.. Lucky I was fast to cover up the plan.. I rush down to woodlands from bedok taking a cab.. Me & ika was telling the driver.. "uncle can drive fast.. Coz my friend wants to surprise her bf by 12mn, its his birthday" The uncle replied okay2 can.. He drive as fast as 120km/hr.. scary...! hahaha.. Once reached at his house, i was waiting for his sister to open the door.. & DOOM! hehehe.. I could see the smile on his face.. It makes me happy... Im glad that I was there on his birthday at 12sharp..! :) I bought him a croc shoe.. Which is nicer than the one he wanted!! After cutting the cake & stuff.. Time for me to go home.. I was expecting for him to sent me to under his block or something.. I didnt expect him to sent me back home, like home coz he's GAY partner was there.. -_- hahaha.. But he just stood at the door & say goodbye.. Its kidda sad, coz i really needed a hug from him... But he just stood there... I didnt want to say much.. As i walked alone to the busstop.. Holding my tears trying to think of happy thoughts.. & Trying not to think of petty stuff I wanna be sad about.. At least he is happy right... At least i made him happy.. But something just seem to bother me.. Haizz... Forget about it.. Its better off unsaid.. The only person who knows is my bestie ika.. She knows everything.. Im glad there was her.. (: The day went well after all.. He is happy, i should too.. Love him alot! (: Well.. Off to bed now! Nitez..
I'll play for you.
A song I sing for you.. You're my Perfect Nightmare
I'll play for you.
How would you feel if the person who you love most, dont trust you.. How would you feel if the person who you love most, is dont being ther for you everytime? How would you feel if the person who you love most, seem like he/she doesnt care animore? How would you feel if the person who you love most, is just not him anymore? How would you feel if the person who you love most, is not the same as others? How would you feel if the person you love most, don't understand what you want? How would you feel if the person you love most, wants you to live the way he wan but not the way you wan? How?? Sometimes it feels like i rather be alone in my life for now.. Sometimes i feel like he's not there. I cant help but to compare him with my exbf. I know you are not suppose to do that.. But i cant help it.. He treat me liked princess.. Like i was the one he tresure most in life.. But him, i dont feel the same way.. Im sorry.. Everynight i read your past msgs, it really made me cry.. The times you're the apply of my eye.. But now, u're just the lemon of my eye & heart.. He can be nice & sweet sometimes.. But most of the time, he really gives me a hard time.. I wonder how much longer i can this.. My sister ever say.. "Fiq cant give you what you want.. What makes you think he can??" To think of it, its kidda of true.. Fiq is the true gentleman cant give what i want.. What make i thinks that he can?? Haizz.. I miss the old him.. The person who makes me crazy in love with.. It really heart ache to see he is not him animore.. Everytime i put a fake smile, but how long can i do this..? I dont know how much longer I can live the way he want me to do.. I scared one day i'll just give up & leave.. I dont know how longer i can be strong for him.. Why must I love him so much?? Why things have to be this way? So many things to say.. But ther's no point of tell, he wouldn't listen aniway.. All i can do is breakdown I cry everytime.. Telling myself that everything is gonna be fine.. I just hope my heart is strong enuf to go thru this over & over again.. Dont expect perfection.. I just want him you love me the way he did months ago.. The way he love me now & last time.. I can feel its different.. :( Everynight before i go to bed, i make the habit of readin at least 5 old mgs from him.. To make me feel the love i have for him again & why im with him again now... I hope this relationship will last forever liked i wanted... signing off.. *in tears*
I'll play for you.
Love Love makes us do stupid stuff.. Love makes us do things we dont.. Love makes us crazy.. Love makes someone finds their inner beauty.. Love makes us forget who we really are.. Love makes things around you colours.. Just Love.. Just one word can really mean alot.. 1st story... Hakim & Siti Siti is madly in love with Hakim.. They have try love few years ago, but it doesnt seem to work out.. Years later, they met again.. Start to hang out & havin meet ups & watching movies & late night chatting.. After 1month of dating.. They decided to give love another chance.. Erm.. The 3rd chances?? Everything seem to be just fine.. Perfectly fine.. Both of them are madly in love.. But as for Siti, she is still scared that Hakim gonna leave her, liked how he did few years ago.. Hakim went missing.. Out of touch, Out of reach.. She still having this scared feeling in her.. Its something which I would want to remember.. But sometimes, we tent to remember the bad more than the good ones.. As Siti can see the change in Hakim.. She decided to forget the past & start a new beginning.. But keeping in mind that this time, if things gonna get ugly again.. All she can do is to make this as a leason to learn... Sometimes Siti felt the loney inside her.. The love hakim showed her is wonderful.. But sometime we tent to remember someone, & start comparing.. This is human tingy.. As she cant compare.. She have to accept everything.. Not everyone will be the same.. But sometimes Siti missed being pampered like a princess... Now, its like karma.. Seriously like karma.. As Siti sat down & tink the things she done to her ex.. Its happening to her now.. Like RIGHT NOW... Sometime she cry alone at night wishing he was him sometimes.. Like when siti need someone badly, when siti is sick, when siti is angry or sad with him, when siti wants to be randomly loved in one day.. Everyone have their ways of living.. Everyone have their own style of loving them.. But sometime she just wished.. Hakim, is the man Siti wanna be with right from the start.. The first time Siti remembered meeting him again.. Is the time she was very happy.. noting can tell the way she felt that time.. Noting.. She is luckly to have him, even when he cant be the man she want he to be... but she know that she's happy to have him again.. But, Is Hakim is lucky to have her? Do Hakim really love her? Will Hakim be the one for her? Is Hakim happy to be with her? Will Hakim leave her again? That remain unsaid.. For now, that's the 1st love story.. To be continue... :) Another story will come... The 2nd story is about Hazrul & Shila signin off...
I'll play for you.
Hello again! Wow, it been a long time since I upload my blog.. Almost 1 year I guess...Alot have happened for the past few months..& I really mean ALOT... The ups & down as per normal. Ok, cut the story short.. I still have my besties with me, which Janice, Not only that.. I got my old bestie back.. Ika.. :) & the most wonderful thing that ever happened was.. Im in love with the same guy 3years ago!! The person who I really loved right from the start i met him.. I cant denial that its easy for me to forget about him.. Even if i have someone in my life, he is the person who i always remembered.. Its weird though.. Im basically happy with my life.. I have My 2 Bestfriends, My Love & My family.. Im more than happy.. Im glad they are with me through my ups & down.. But sometimes any of them can be really PAIN IN MY ASS!! heheh.. Well, thats the story of my life.. To my continue, the nex time.. The Greatful Family i Have My Irritating beloved slibilings 
The Love of my Life..
& My beautiful Souls..  Loves...
I'll play for you.
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About Her & Only Her..
Hidayah a.k.a YaYa
Songs Of the past
→ June 2009 People Of My Life..
*My bestie J*, Nysa.., Fatin.., HicaL.., My Julie.., Bear2.., Ika.., ShiKin.., Blank, Blank, Blank, Blank, Blank, Blank, Blank, Blank. If It Meant to be, I Sing it For you..
Approx size of 190px Enchantment
Designed By: velvet-sky
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